all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
