Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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