I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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