She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
