I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
