there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
