Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
