Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
