I hate your face
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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