are you so shy because you have an std?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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