i don't like sucking hair
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
