It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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