Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
