your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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