i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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