I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
