O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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