No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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