your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
