yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
