So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
