I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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