He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
