I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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