Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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