is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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