She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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