hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
