The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
