we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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