I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
