pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
