so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
