I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
