I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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