fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
