I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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