guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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