Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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