wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
