I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
