Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
