All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
