Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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