My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize