I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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