As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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