: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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