I'm gonna have a badass scar
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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