His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
