pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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