I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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