she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
