Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
