my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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