I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I love having hate sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
