Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
