I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
