My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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