i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
