that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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