plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
